Time Travel with Me to the Morning of last Thursday

April 12th, 2012

6:29 AM

You know those mornings when you feel like the poster child for general disarray and walking chaos? I'm having one of those mornings. This wouldn't be nearly so frustrating if I didn't go to such great lengths to keep exactly this sort of a mess from happening. I'm a very organized traveler- everything has its place, its proper weight, ready to pass inspection and cross borders sin problemas. However, this morning, I was not particularly on top of my game. Mascara was not in a little baggy, earrings did not have backings, and iPods had mysteriously failed to charge overnight. Granted, overnight might be a bit of an exaggeration. I didn't actually get to sleep until 3:00 AM, which meant that my evening recoup was really more of a catnap. 5 AM wake-up call was not welcome, although it certainly did the job. Do you think they design hotel telephones to ring so abrasively? Dastardly architects of wake-up call efficiency. 

Here is the itinerary that should have been followed:

• 10:00 PM - Asleep
• 5:00 AM - Wake up call (luxuriously stretch arms and roll out of bed with perfect hair)
• 5:30 AM - Catch shuttle to airport
• 6:00 AM- Be well on my way to passing through the check-in desk with a breezy smile and relieved of my enormous bags
• 6:34 AM- Be sitting in the Louiu Airport Café awaiting my boarding gate and drinking a hot milk with Bailey's, smiling breezily out the windows at the sweet night fallen over the runways. 

One of these things happened and I'll give you a hint. It was the one that included Bailey's. If one thing was going to go right this morning it had darn well be the Bailey's. Let me provide you with a more accurate itinerary.

• 3:00 AM - Asleep
• 5:00 AM- Wake up call
• 5: 15 AM - Actually get out of bed, all aspects of physical appearance in a state of acute hot mess and severely in need of tylenol, according to the living dead status of my eyes
• 5:15-5:30- Run all over the hotel room collecting my things, think frantically on the idea of how I managed to spread out so much in the space of twelve hours.
• 5:33- Arrive downstairs for the 5:30 shuttle, which is blessedly waiting (grab breakfast while receptionist checks me out of my room. Breakfast is a stale croissant- somehow still delicious, pin it down to desperation)
• 5:40 - Arrive at airport and put on makeup using a compact. The woman sitting next to me watches with fascination without even pretending to hide it. I wonder briefly if she has ever seen eyeliner before.
• 5:45- Begin check-in process with a very nice lady who cannot seem to find my reservation in the computer
• 5:46- Discover that one of my bags is severely overweight and that flying Iberia (although I will be switching to American Airlines) I am charged for my second bag (50 EUROS! alskdjflaksjdflakjsfdlkajsdflkajsdflkajsdlfkjasldkfjalskjdfalskdjI'mokay.)
• 5:46- 6:15 - Sit on the tile floor in full sight of the entire arrivals terminal and move things from one bag to another. Try to smile at people like I'm enjoying myself and generally wait until I arrive at the airport to complete the packing process. Sit in zen position during the process to appear more convincingly calm.
• 6:15- 6:25- Require four boxes to organize my things through security. Listen to woman jokes from the two young men standing behind me, who apparently only see that my passport is American and therefore presume that I do not speak Spanish.
• 6:25- Embarrass two boys horribly. Do not feel even the tiniest bit bad about it.
• 6:29- Arrive at the Louiu café and order my drink, which is perfect in every way and look out at the runway, amazed by how calm and steady the blinking of lights can be, against a windy darkness.

Let's hope that the remainder of the journey is more straightforward. I'll cross my fingers and hope for it. But like wi-fi while airport hopping, it seems that such sweet goodnesses as simple travel, are to be savored when they happen to come along.